I find myself swimming in a fast moving stream. Information, updates, questions, juggling my time and preparing for whatever the future holds.
Yesterday I became an advocate and learner. Physical and occupational therapists are teaching me transfer methods, about assistance devices and care plans. We have a long road to travel and my husband is working as well as he can to overcome damage from his stroke.
This type of caregiving is new. I am searching for a vehicle that will make life easier after we are discharged. Our home may have to be arranged to make it safer. Thankfully, I have freinds and neighbors to help.
I drove into the pasture to love on my dogs who are missing us. I wore my hisband’s shirt so they could smell him. They were very loving and sweet. I checked on the sheep and now have laundry to do before heading to visit at the rehab facility.
It feels like I am walking aroumd in a fog. I am so tired. Many of you have had this same feeling.
God is my hope and strength. He has amazed us with a peace that does pass understanding. We are trusting him with our future. I have used the song I am posting today before. I needed to hear it today so maybe someone else does too.
Our lives may be changing but God is still writing our story.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear Heavenly Father
We come to you trusting you with our future. Whatever you have in store for us, will become our plan. Give us hope, peace and grace. We thank you for the amazing friends and family you have sent to assist us right now. Humbly. we accept this help and hope to be able to bless them as they are blessing us.
My “spa” for the day. Sit in a comfortable chair, take long breathes and wait while the clothes are washing and drying Pause for a few minutes to pray and allow God to comfort you.
My husband called me at 4am because he had dropped his nurse call button and he needed help to go to the bathroom. I very gently spoke with him. He can’t see the clock and had no idea it was 4 am.
Sitting by the side of my superman has been tough. He has a sound mind, can eat and speak but has no control or feeling on one side. His periphial vision is compromised as well. He had found his cell phone on the tray by the bed and somehow managed to call with one good hand. He is one foot taller than me and still very strong even if he can’t control one leg amd arm yet. I need to be strong for him, so I find a quiet place to cry and pray while looking around our home wondering how to adjust.
I have to remind myself that he needs me so I have to sleep and eat right when I am not by his side at the rehab facility. We had tag teamed in caring for our parents. Now that is not possible. I am getting a full experience of what you spousal caregivers face.
A team of prayer warriors, neighbors, family and friends has gathered around us. Humbly and gratefully we are accepting their help. This is so hard to do when you are an independent person.
Some of the wonderful people who have attended the support group I lead have called to remind me of the advice I have given them. These moved me to tears.
I know this may seem like I am rambling and I most likely am. Sleep deprived and overloaded describes me best at the moment. I came on to say take care of yourself even if it is finding a comfortable chair and allowing God to hold you for a few moments.
Word for Today
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Phillipians 4:6-7
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
God,
I come humbled today. You are my strength. You are my shield. In all of this change and challenges, I trust you. Guard my heart and mind. Give me peace and wisdom.
Nine days ago I became a caregiver again. My amazing husband who I call superman because of his physical and spiritual strength was on the platform with his guitar and ready to lead worship for an evening service at our church when he had a stroke. I rushed to his side. I followed the medics to the ambulance. Within moments they decided he had to be flown to a hospital in another city. I drove to the pickup site to see him loaded into the helicopter. I was shaking so hard a friend drove me to the hospital.
The doctor met me as soon as I got there. I vaguely heard the words stroke, blood clot, and I am going in to remove it now. God had kept him alive. I sat and waited to hear the results. Friends and family had rushed to my side. About 1 in the morning I sent everyone home and sat by his side. Due to a lack of intensive care units, we were there until late afternoon before entering the icu unit.
My husband’s mind was strong. He could talk. His right side was not effected. His left side was effected and some vision is off. We were in icu for several days before transitioning to a regular room. Now we have transitioned to an acute rehab facility.
I have slept in a chair by his side in the emergency room. A recliner in icu and a bench with cushions in his hospital room. All night long the walls vibrated and helicopter fumes were happening. We were directly below the launch site. I exhaustedly roamed around the hospital finding a bite to eat or drink and a place to shower.
My mind raced with questions as I turned to God for peace. I tried to be calm and self assured when with my husband. Amazing staff truly showed compassion. I fell asleep in the icu unit and missed the time I was supposed to leave. A nurse walked in and woke me. I apologized and reached for my purse and shoes to leave. Then I heard my husband ask for her to please let me stay. She turned to me and I am surprised at what I asked. “Have you never seen the movie The Notebook?
Her heart softened and this sweet nurse was the charge nurse. She found me a recliner and a blanket. She came in as shifts changed and whispered “I will be here for the next three days. You can stay each evening but don’t tell the others in icu waiting. God’s favor was so with us that I am crying as I write.
My husband and I prayed for physicians, nurses and anyone who helped care for him. When I ventured out I prayed for families with adult children on life support. God had complete strangers approach me and ask to pray for me.
I share all of this with you because it has been my story for years now. When you walk through the toughest and darkest times, God is your strength. I do not know if my husband will recover. I am looking at my vehicle and home thinking about changes and adjustments. I want to be able to hold his left hand and have him feel it. I may now be caring for a man who has always been strong and independent.
If this doesn’t make a lot of sense, I am really tired. Two nights ago, I settled enough to sleep. Nine hours later, I woke up rested.
The caregivers I lead a support group for have called and even visited since he moved into rehab. That about ripped my heart strings because I know they carry a heavy load themselves.
Now that I am in the current situation, I was forced to allow people to help. My farm animals had to be cared for. Friends have mowed the lawn, fed the animals, collected the mail and brought meals to me. When caring for my parents, I did not ask for help when I really could have used it. Now this 5 foot tall woman will need help caring for my 6 foot tall husband.
Allow people to help you when you need it.
Stay tuned as God writes our story. My husband was able to use a harness and attempt to take steps yesterday. He is very determined to recover as well as he can. Our prayer is for total healing, but we accept God’s plan for our lives.
Word for Today
Romans 8:37-39
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
We praise you for walking each day with us giving us hope and comfort. You show up in the dark silent moments when we can’t even find the words to pray. You see our hearts and meet us where we are. Bring strength to us when we are weak.
Each month I sit with caregivers and try to listen with my ears and feel with my heart. This is always done as I look into their eyes. Sometimes their eyes tell me much more than their words do. Pain, exhaustion and grief are difficult to put into words. At the same time, they are hard to hide when someone takes the time to look into your eyes.
I understand the hesitation to express your concerns, fears and heartache. Making yourself vulnerable is not always easy, especially when are usually the strong. It opens the door for judgement. People may make you feel like a failure. You are not a failure. You should not fear judgement. Anyone who has never walked in your shoes cannot comprehend your situation. Anyone who has walked in your shoes can totally comprehend your situation.
I asked a caregiver “How has your week been?”. He hesitated, gained composure over his emotions and said “alright”. I saw the hesitation and heard the soft reply and recognized myself from earlier that morning. I had prayed for peace and courage to show up that day. My mom’s birthday would have been this week. It has been ten years since I said goodbye to her. I have been missing her and my emotions have surfaced as tears for several days. Sometimes you just feel the loss.
How do you overcome the struggles and losses?
Find a support group near you or online. As I watch the group I lead, I can see people begin to relax and drop their guard when they realize they are not alone. Someone else is experiencing the same thing. Someone will listen and not judge. Just this week a man was upset with himself for getting frustrated with his wife. His love for her was very evident. Most of the group acknowledged that they too had said the wrong thing or did something that only made matters worse.
Find me a perfect caregiver and you will have found a person that I do not believe exists. I see ordinary people attempting to do extraordinary things that they never thought they would be doing. A husband who had a wife that cooked the meals, cleaned the house, remembered and acknowledged birthdays and made it look easy may not be prepared to take on those tasks.
Find me a woman who never knew how to change a tire, repair a leaky faucet, or navigate finances with ease because those were her husband’s job and I assure you that these things are tough.
This use of humor explains the many little things that a spouse does that are not so little when they can no longer do them.
I am five foot tall and my husband is six foot tall. He hands me things off the top shelf and laughs as he reaches around me at the washing machine. I have a top loading machine that is deep. I reach all I can and then reach for my reacher grabber tool to get the last of the load. He walks in takes my grabber and hands the clothes to me to put into the dryer.
Our truck has side rails to help me get in. When we rented a truck recently, it had no side rails. We bought a small stool. He would get out, go around and place my stool for me to get out. It beat tying a rope to it for me to lower and pull back in. Don’t laugh. A group of women coming out from a home decor store had a good time whispering as they watched me perform that very act one day.
My tall handsome and very competent husband is also my best friend. Should I ever lose any part of him, I will be suffering and floundering. I hope I will have the courage and compassion I see in other caregivers should I ever be a caregiver for my spouse. I have taken care of my parents, but I had a spouse to lean on.
You are overwhelmed with demands for your time while struggling to learn new skills. As the disease changes, you have to learn how to stay one step ahead. You carry this load while isolated from other humans sometimes. A package delivery allows you to hear a voice saying hello as you open the door.
Find someone you can lean on. A caregiver support group offers friendship, information and connection with people who understand. In person is preferrable but inline through zoom is another option.
Faith in God and fellowship with other caregivers is where I poured my heart out and felt safe. If you just need to vent, please leave a comment. I can take it. I do not pubish comments for others to see. I do pray for you. I cannot see into your eyes but I do care.
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
I praise you that I always have Jesus. When I need someone to lean on I know I an turn to you. On the days that are the hardest, I would love to have a person to simply be there with a hug, a smile or a prayer. I ask that you guide my steps to interact with someone who can be that for me.
While researching this week for a presentation on anticipatory grief, I came across the words stacked grief. These words grabbed my attention because they described two stressful seasons in my own life. This is when losses are suffered in close proximity to each other.
All caregivers for someone with Alzheimer’s disease and related diseases come to understand grief. It may come as the one you love loses skills or if it is the final loss when they pass away. You learn to work through grief most of the time.
You may grieve when you look ahead at what you are about to lose. When you experience anticipatory grief, you may feel guilty for grieving before the person passes. There is a large emotional toll. It takes time to learn to balance your emotions.
I discovered after my mom had moved into mid stages of Alzheimer’s that my father was showing mild cognitive decline. There was not a lot of time to allow myself to grieve the little losses. I tried to, but sometimes I packed the emotions away. It was like each loss was a wood block in the game called Jenga. This is a game we played with our children when they were young. Each of us held our breath when stacking the blocks into the tower or removing a block. No one wanted to cause the tower to tumble. I made every effort to build a balanced tower as I tucked my emotional blocks in but I feared someone might pull a block and everything would fall apart.
The tower was getting higher and higher. I grieved leaving my husband to take care of my parents. I grieved leaving my parents to return to my own home. There was grief when I could not spend time with my own children and grandchildren. The blocks of grief were stacking fast and furious.
My mom passed away. The block tower of grief continued to grow. Our home flooded. Another block is stacked. I had surgery. Add several blocks this time. My dad passed away. That almost toppled the tower. God must have glued the stack together so I could survive. I had relied on the solid rock of Christ when I started to build this tower.
Instead of the blocks all tumbling down, it felt as if God gently handed me each block. I held it and shed tears. When I was calm, he handed me another one. As time passed, I accepted the losses and allowed God to mend my heart.
There was a small reprieve. Then blocks of grief were reappearing and I tucked them into a new tower. We sold the home we loved to be closer to my in-laws. I truly hated leaving our home that had just been restored from the flood. The difference in handling grief is what I had learned the first time. Place a block when time does not allow grieving. When things settle, pray for a season of healing and peace. That lasted for about a year. Then the tower rose fast. My father-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. My mother-in-law was showing signs of dementia. Within three years we said goodbye to both of them and 2 pets. There I was again feeling as if the tower of grief was about to tumble down on me.
God was faithful and helped me process everything again.
I am no superhero. I suffered pain, frustration, grief, anger, and many more emotions. There were days that exhaustion got the best of me and I caved under the load. There were days that I stepped back and cried over the gradual losses. With God as my protector and healer, I moved on.
A choice was made to live in the moment while trying to make the most of each situation. Jesus faced grief and wept when his friend Lazarus died. He went on to raise Lazarus from the dead. If he did this, then I knew he would raise me from underneath stacked layers of grief.
Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
I praise you for being my protector, healer and peace. Grief can be hard to bear, especially when the losses happen so close together. You gave us emotions and I struggle sometimes when they are filled with sorrow. Then I am reminded that the sorrow is a result of losing someone I loved dearly. My life has been blessed my many people who I now miss. Please help me to be grateful for the time I had with them.
Today is Memorial Day. I have been pondering the men and women who paid a great price for my freedoms. Some of these very people are now living with Alzheimer’s disease. It is a wonderful if they have lost the horrible memories some of them have carried. They may relive some of those memories if they have regressed to the point of actually thinking they are still in the trenches and battles. Triggers such as seeing war on the television or hearing fireworks can be very frightening and stressful to them.
I was teaching a church group one day that visits assisted living and skilled care nursing homes. I had taught them to always approach a person with dementia from the front. They were told to address the person by name and to tell them their own name. After a few more basic instructions, we started role playing.
I informed a man that he was a retired military man. He was only to anwser to Sarge, He actually was a retired military officer; however, I did not have that information. His performance was so brilliant that I figured it out very quickly.
His visitors had been told to address him by name. When they approached him, he kept his head down and ignored them. They repeated their greeting by calling his name and telling him theirs. He kept ignoring them. I leaned in and whispered “call him Sarge”. When addressed as Sarge, he saluted and replied “Yes Sir”. They talked for a few minutes and I urged them that the fire alarm was sounding. He immediately dropped to his knees, covered his head and shouted “incoming…incoming” and began to shake.
The supposed visitors were genuinely surprised and ended the role playing.
The whole group asked if I had coached him to respond that way. I assured them that I had not but his history lead him to demonstrate how a military person with dementia might respond. It was a very eye opening experience for all of us.
If you are a caregiver for someone who has served as a fireman, police officer, military personnel or first responder you should watch for triggers and be prepared. Sirens of any kind could cause anxiety. Gunfire can be another trigger. Be careful when allowing to watch the news. Lock firearms in a safe they cannot open.
You paid a price once when you were holding the family together while your loved ones were serving. Now you are paying a price again as you care for your family member with dementia. If I could give you an award I would. God sees and He can give you an award. Continue being strong and have courage.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
We are so thnkful for your comfort in this troubled world. Help us to keep our focus on you knowing that you alone are the answer to our prayers when things look bad. Give us courage to face our battles knowing you are on our side.
Living on a farm means so much work in the spring. We have been prepping the ground, planting seeds and building new flower and herb beds. There are more eggs to gather and baby lambs are bouncing around. I have to keep reminding myself that the fruit of our labor will be beautiful and amazing. We will love having fresh food and flowers soon. The lambs are already double their birth weight.
When you are in the early stages of caregiving it may seem like you will never adjust to meet the new demands. In a way, you are prepping for the future. You are planting seeds of love and compassion. The season of laying the groundwork to be a successful caregiver may not be giving you images of beauty. You have to trust me they will come.
Others will watch you labor and be moved by the diligence and grace that they see in your life. God is transforming you during the process. He is giving you a greater capacity to love. He is giving you grace to make mistakes and learn from them.
God placed Adam and Eve in a gaarden where they did not have to pull weeds. We as humans now live in a fallen world. Diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Lewy Body are weeds that have invaded our garden. Some people can be like weeds with their opinions of you as a caregiver. The enemy planted them just like a parable from the bible.
Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.
“The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’
‘An enemy did this,’ he replied. Matthew 13
God did not send these diseases because of something we did wrong. You are not a bad caregiver. Others are not walking in your shoes so they have no true understanding of how difficult it is. We cannot just pluck any of these weeds from our life. We have to show mercy.
Keep praying. Keep showing compassion. Keep believing that God has equipped you to meet the challenges of caregiving. You will become a person of beauty that others notice. When they ask how you do what you do, share your true story. It may be what they need to hear to become a better person and caregiver.
Not everyone will respond well to your story. They may be angry and bitter as a caregiver. They may sting. Just be ready in case that happens.
I didn’t mention that we also keep bees on our farm. The honey is amazing. We wear protective gear and still get stung sometimes. When we remain calm, the bees calm down most of the time. Remain calm when an angry person stings.
Word for Today
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
I truly want to be a beautiful caregiver that learns from mistakes, trust you for wisdom and allows you to trans form me into a peron that shines for your glory. Send people into my life that I can lean on when I need to.
Please read before continuing with this blog. After learning about how vision changes then you may better understand why the person you are providing care for becomes frustrated. You have to take this information and apply it. They may not be stubborn when they refuse to walk on a shiny floor. They are actually afraid it is slick and they do not want to fall.
Hallucinations and delusions can cause them to see things that you cannot see. They may be able to describe what they see in fine detail. This can get confusing for you. My mother-in-law called to tell me a friend was there to visit her. She had tapped on the window and motioned that she was going to the front door. My husband texted this person and they were not there. I continued to talk to her as she waited. This friend was a realtor, so I convinced my mother- in- law that she must have taken a call and had to leave to show a home. By the end of our conversation, she had forgotten that a visitor had been outside. If I did not know her hallucinations could be vivid, I would have believed our friend had been there.
I have heard many stories about a person not recognizing themselves in the mirror and believe a stranger is in their home. I can look in the mirror and see myself now and wonder who that old women is looking at me. Thankfully I don’t look this old. I sigh and walk away knowing I am no longer young. It is sad and I miss the younger version, but I am not fearful. I might be if I did see someone this old looking back at me.
One woman accused her husband of having an affair. She was angry and quite upset with him. He tried to convince her of how much he loved her. She took him into the bathroom to prove there was another woman in their home. He had to cover the mirror to bring peace to her.
You have to listen carefully and play detective sometimes to find out what is frustrating them.
Taking steps to assist include:
Regular Eye Examinations: conditions like cataracts, glaucoma, and macular degeneration can be caught before they impact daily life.
Proper Vision Correction: encourage wearing glasses if they have them
Environmental Modifications: provide adequate lighting and safe paths to walk in around the home
Understanding that vision problems in Alzheimer’s can stem from brain processing issues rather than the eyes them-selves is crucial. My mother-in-law had a bouquet of flowers. One day a monkey was hiding in that bouquet. The next day it was a lion in the mix. When the dancing lady appeared, I expressed that my eyes must be getting bad and tossed the flowers because they were beginning to droop. There was no reason to frustrate her over the fact that we couldn’t see what she saw.
Are you seeing a dog wearing glasses? I sure hope so because I am and I hope my brain is understanding this correctly!
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear Heavenly Father,
I praise you for your grace in my life. On the days my loved one is frustrated with their ability to see and understand their surroundings, allow both of us to feel Jesus in our lives.
Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease has a long steady stream of losses. You experience anticipatory grief. This is the emotional response you feel before a significant loss occurs. It involves sadness and anxiety.You survive this journey by mourning each loss as it occurs. Find a place to be alone and let the tears fall. Accept that the best place to be emotionally stable is when you learn to live in the moment. Let go of the losses and try not to look at what you are about to lose. Cherish what you still have and try to be there with your loved one.
Your mind will be invaded by many thoughts that distract you from living in the moment. You may find yourself anticipating how holidays will change. You think about what life will be like after your loved one is gone. These are realities that you can face when they happen.
You will feel guilty for mourning while they are still alive. Do not go there. Your grief is real and you need to allow yourself to process it. Find a safe place to mourn the little losses along the way.
I had a music list that I listened to and cried on the toughest days. Then I would pray and ask God to comfort me so that I could continue on as a caregiver. I am sharing my list below. I encourage you to compile your own.
Kari Jobe
I am Not Alone
Be Still
Steady my Heart
Cating Crowns
Scars in Heaven
Praise You in This Storm
Just Be Held
Anticipatory grief can come in stages.
Realization occurs when you come to terms with the fact that a loved one has a terminal disease. Shock waves of sadness hit you. These shock waves will knock you over. Eventually, you will find solid ground. You may deny the truth for a while. Then one day you accept it.
Reflection is a time of looking back. You may have unresolved issues that bother you. You regret things you have said or done. You wish you could repair these, but it is now too late. You can speak the words “I am sorry” and hope they hear you. Forgive any wrongs so that your heart has room to love.
You may journal your great memories to cherish forever. Find joy in these memories and use them to share stories with your loved one. It may trigger happiness in them.
Preparation thoughts enter your mind. You think about care plans. You anticipate planning a funeral. You look at finances. You think about your final conversations and plan how to say goodbye.
Emotional swings surround you. Anger, guilt, love, numbness, dread and pain overwhelm you as you process the grief. Working through these emotions while trying to remain strong for your loved one can be exhausting.
Facing the future without your loved one is difficult. Your life will go on and you will have to make adjustments.
The things listed above do not occur in this order. You will bounce between them all with anticipatory grief. You will be affected mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually in the grief process. Be kind to yourself and seek help from family, friends, ministers and professionals if you need to.
Grieving along the whole journey of caregiving allows you to find strength to go on. You will still grieve over the final loss. You will have established a framework for coping.
Word for Today
Psalm 29:11
The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
Saying goodbye to my loved one is so difficult. I need your peace and comfort. I need people to hold my hand and offer support. I need You to be my strength.
Connections are the threads that weave our lives together, enriching our experiences and deepening our understanding of one another.
WARNING! This is a lengthy blog. During the time between when my parents passed away and when I began taking care of my in-laws, I volunteered three days a week at a nearby specialized care assisted living facility. The connections I made with the residents were amazing. My aching heart was healed as I loved on them. Through games, story times, one on one visits and meeting their families, I learned about their lives.
If you are reading this and interact with individuals with dementia in any job, volunteering or simply being an aquaintance, please take the time to listen, observe and interview family members. The knowledge you gain helps you focus on seeing them with your heart and treating them as an important individual you interact with and not someone to tolerate.
When an activites director was hired where I volunteered, I decided to give her a headstart on knowing these residents. I wrote a story about the residents for her. I read it to the residents on her first day. They all listened intently and got excited when they heard their names. Some of even asking when would their name be heard as I read.
At the conclusion, the new director told me I was a good writer. I thanked her and handed the story to her and explained that these were her residents and this was for her. She looked puzzled. I told her that this story mentioned their actual occupations and interests. Then I asked her to use this information to make connections as I had.
Here is the “Letter” that tells the story. I hope it motivates you to see the person as a whole when you are a caregiver.
Letter to friend about Green Oaks
Dear Serina,
So much has happened since we left Atlanta that I just had to write to you. We have met so many wonderful people that I know you will love hearing all about them and our life here. Our farm is only minutes away from the small village called Green Oaks.
This spring was so lovely that we often strolled through tree lined streets and lovely lanes. Residents sat on their front porches and seemed to know all their neighbors. Each porch looked inviting and we longed to meet each person we passed. That longing quickly turned into reality. Now we walk by and call out greetings. Many evenings we get invited in for a glass of tea or fresh baked cookies.
The main street has a beauty shop where Dot and Oma stay busy keeping all of us ladies looking our best. Beth is their receptionist. She has a great sense of humor and everyone has fun while there. We girls often tease about running away to the beach.
The pet store is run by Bud. He is a nice man but he really loves his snakes and you know how much I dislike snakes, so I just go look at the fish and birds. The perfect place to shop for wood toys is Howard’s. When you visit me this year we can shop together for gifts. He does occasionally hang his gone fishing sign in the window so we will have to time it right.
There is a lovely puzzle shop with an amazing collection of puzzles. A man named Lawrence is very helpful. He usually has a puzzle on a table he is working on. We met our insurance agent, Donald, there. He is a puzzle enthusiast and full of tall tales. Next door to the puzzle shop is a craft store run by Johnnie and her twins. We are talking to her about spinning yarn from our sheep’s wool. Wouldn’t my granddaughters love a sweater made from it?
Speaking of the girls, they came to visit at Thanksgiving. We had a wonderful time. When we went into the village they all were convinced that Santa was wearing overalls and hanging Christmas lights and garland all over town. They were so excited we just didn’t have the heart to tell them it was Larry from the town council who is in charge of the decorations every year. He is very hands on and insists on doing it himself. I have to admit he could pass for Santa.
The girls are coming again in May. We have a special day trip planned with our neighbor Martha who used to live in Decatur,. We are going there with her and taking the girls to the hot air balloon festival. Doesn’t that sound like fun?
I have been volunteering at the elementary and high schools. I made good friends at both. Dottie teaches English at the high school and Sandra teaches at the elementary school. They do an amazing job engaging with their students. Dottie shared a wonderful lobster recipe with me that we will make when you come.
There is a ladies Bible study I enjoy. Julia and Carol are sweet ladies I have met there. We get to go out for coffee sometimes afterward. It feels good being able to share this time with them. They can never replace you but they help fill the void I have from missing you.
We have befriended an older couple at church named Ron and Wanda. They are a little quiet and keep to themselves. I have invited them and Betty to lunch next Sunday. I will be serving chicken delight using your recipe. I will let you know if they like it.
You have to come visit this fall. We will have our new barn built and plan to throw a party. Bring your singing voice and dancing shoes. Roberta is bringing her group to sing. On Tuesday afternoon you can hear them practicing if the windows are open at Roberta’s house. They are very talented. Betty Jo plans to teach us all how to square dance. She is from our bowling team. Brenda will be singing some Reba McEntire songs.
During the same week, the community theater will be doing a musical. Our friends BA and several of the others I have mentioned are in the cast. BA plays the trumpet and leads our community band. Doesn’t it all sound like fun?
Before I forget, when you come please obey the speed limits. Billy, our police chief, takes his job seriously. I am not suggesting you normally speed, but this is definitely not the traffic you are used to. You can’t change lines and hide like you can in Atlanta.
I am sitting in the park while writing this letter. The beautiful bench I am sitting on was made by Marie and her husband. They also make lovely furniture. She has a degree in home economics so you too would get along well.
Across the way is another friend Shirley. She is showing her grandchildren her initials carved in one of the trees. When she was younger she was in love with someone with the initial J.T. One of her friends, yet another Marie, also has her name carved in the tree with a heart. This must have been where all the couples dated at the park. I know Marie loves plants so I see her at the park often.
Our nearest neighbor is Jack. He has a putting green in his yard and loves being outdoors. At night he enjoys playing cards. We need to invite him over to play soon. Faye lives across the street. She comes over for game night once a month. She wins most of the word games.
Margaret loves to come over and watch Alabama football. She is a more avid fan than us. It makes game days even more fun. She owns the local florist.
A new lady moved down the road from us last week. Her name is Carolyn. She moved to be near her granddaughter who goes to the local college. They seem to be close because I have seen her visiting often.
The town’s mayor of Green Oaks is Anita She and her assistant, Teresa, keep everything running smoothly. It has turned out to be the perfect place for us to live. Our community center keeps a full schedule. We have bingo, volleyball, sing- a- longs and food.
There is so much to share but I have to go soon. Paul is meeting me here. He flips houses and has asked me to stage them. This place is keeping me busy.You really must come this fall! I miss you and am excited to introduce you to our new friends. Their stories about their lives, jobs, children and travel are enjoyable. They have traveled from
the Swiss Alps to the North pole. Our lives are so much richer because of them. You will love them as much as we do.
With love,
Donna
The information I used for this story was collected over three months. When you are determined to make a connection, God will allow it to happen.
Walking Them Home 